How about some bullets? Mama is tired...
- Michaela has had hiccups multiple times per day this past week. It's really cute, but it can keep me awake at night.
- She also moves around quite a lot at various times of the day, especially in the evenings.
- Saw the OB on Friday. My fundal height is 35 cm. From this point on, I will see her every week. Induction is still a consideration, but we will wait to discuss it further after my next visit to the perinatologist in about a week. The only reason we would do so is to avoid having a nine or ten pounder.
- I have had a week of less back pain, but when I saw the chiropractor on Friday she told me that I'm really tight in all areas. The massage therapist had said the same thing on Tuesday. Ignorance was bliss. The deep tissue massage the chiropractor gave me was excruciating, and it's going to take a couple days until I am not so sore.
- I have found some really cute handmade items on Etsy for the baby. I haven't received them yet, but they will have Labrador Retriever appliques on them. I just couldn't resist! I will have to post pictures when they arrive because they are darling.
- Reflux is horrible. I can't stand it. I can't drink enough water because it wants to come right back up again. I suck on lots of ice chips instead.
- We're having a heatwave here, and my feet and ankles are now cankles. Just lovely! ;)
- Sleep is mediocre. I'm just so uncomfortable. I can't wait until I can sleep part of the night on my back again.
- Sunday is my baby shower with Michael's family. I'm really looking forward to it.
- Monday begins the NSTs at the hospital twice a week.
Okay, two things are kind of bugging me, and I feel like I want to address them. If you feel like you've commented along these lines here or on Facebook, please don't beat yourself up. I'm not angry, but I just don't want to hear things like this anymore because they kind of negate my feelings, and I'm pretty sensitive at this point thanks to my pregnancy hormones.
1) Well-meaning people who suggest that being pregnant is better than having to care for a newborn.
2) Well-meaning people who suggest that the joy of having Michaela will somehow fill the void that Michael's death has left.
I guess these kind of suggestions bother me because I've been so miserable during this pregnancy. In my mind caring for an infant instead of being in pain or feeling sick has just
got to be better. And isn't that the goal of the whole thing anyway? To have your precious baby in your arms?
And as much joy as Michaela will undoubtedly bring into my life, a child doesn't replace a loving and devoted husband. They are two very different kinds of relationships, and I will miss Michael every day until I join him in Eternity.
I don't usually complain about things that people say to me online, but I just want to make my feelings about that kind of stuff known because they just aren't helpful to me right now. Thank you so much for understanding and allowing me to express myself freely here.
