Poor Little Neglected Blog

Michaela has a beautiful smile, but I haven't caught it on camera yet.

Not much time for blogging these days because Michaela keeps me very busy! She is thriving and a pure joy. I am so blessed to be her mommy.

What's new? Well, we are getting out of the house more frequently now. Earlier this week we had a successful afternoon with Teresa and Wren at Fashion Island. Both babies slept most of the afternoon, and we mommies were able to have lunch, walk around, and have a nice visit. It's so nice to be sharing this new season of life with such a good friend.

We've also gone to church, the farmers market, to Auntie Julie's, and to both sets of grandparents' homes. It takes forever to get ready, and I feel like I'm taking enough gear with us for a weekend camping trip. But it's so good once we are on our way!

Whenever we can, we are walking through the neighborhood and the local park. Buffy walks with us and she's really good even with the stroller. I lost the first thirty pounds of my pregnancy weight without trying to, but the next 15-20 are going to require some effort on my part. I'm trying to eat smart and work up to the three-mile walk I used to do. Hopefully that will be enough. I am concerned that if I do not drop at least ten more pounds before I go back to work, that I will still be wearing maternity clothes then. I can't bear to do that! I need my Ann Taylor Loft wardrobe. I look in my closet and see so many cute things that I just can't fit into and it makes me feel all Boo Boo Kitty.

I'm learning which baby gear products work for us and which don't. Conceptually, everything seems so great, but in my real life everything does not live up to my expectations. Maybe I should devote a post to what I've learned, but not right now.


Anyway, we are doing well. Every day brings something new and sweet to enjoy because of Michaela.

Fathers Day for the Fatherless

When Michael passed, I wanted pictures for the memorial service, so one of his brothers helped me find Michael's personal photo collection in our garage. Most of the pictures I'd never seen. They were from before we were married and so some of the people and places in the pictures remain a mystery to me. There were several of him with babies and little children, and they were hard to look at. They still are.

Here's one with him and his niece Kiana:

And here are the ones of him with other people's babies:

He was a natural with kids. His warmth and his own childlike nature just drew them to him. It is beyond unfortunate that he invested himself for so many years in another relationship with a woman who had a negative perception of marriage and family. It is also beyond unfortunate that he remained in that relationship once our paths crossed and we saw marriage material in one another.

This is part of our past that is a thorn in my side. Sometimes I am angry with him because of this, and now that Michaela has come to be, I hurt for her and that she has to wait to know her daddy. I just pray that she will grow up feeling some positive connection to Michael, and I know it's up to me to encourage that. Already, several times a day, I refer to him when I'm talking to her. I tell her that her daddy loves her. I comment that she looks so much like him. I mention little things he did or liked. It doesn't seem like much, but that's all I can do - paint a picture with words throughout her childhood of who he was. That and help her have an eternal perspective so that she knows that he is a part of her future.

However, I do wish we were celebrating this, what would have been Michael's first Fathers Day, as an intact family of three. I wish the day included cards and gifts for him, and a photograph of him holding his beautiful baby girl.

Michaela @ One Month Old

Our first month together has just flown by!

I'm guesstimating that Michaela weighs between nine and ten pounds by now. She's a very good eater. I give her three ounces of formula every two or three hours. We are going through at least twenty-four ounces of formula in a twenty-four hour period of time. I feed her on demand, and when she's hungry, she's very hungry! She does not like to wait for her bottle. We were having problems with excessive spit-up, and so I've tried some different formulas for that. The one we are using now has rice starch in it, and she is spitting up far less now. Michael's mom joked that of course she needs rice with every meal!  That's the way Michael grew up, and once we got married he always had a fresh batch of rice in the rice maker for us.

And, because input equals output, I change an incredible number of diapers each day. I haven't actually counted how many, but I'm thinking that to say ten or twelve a day is being conservative. She has graduated from the newborn size, and is now wearing size 1. I'm happy that I learned about Amazon Mom and their subscribe and save program because it is a great way to save. I was able to order 284 diapers for just $33 the other day, and two-day shipping is free. Can't beat that!

Michaela's temperment is very easy going. She seems to be like her daddy in that regard. The only times she fusses are when she's hungry, needs a diaper change, has a gas bubble, or is resisting a nap. I can usually figure it out quickly and give her what she needs. When she's resisting a nap, I either swaddle her or I hold her tight. That does the trick every time!

Michaela is a very good sleeper. Overnight she will sleep anywhere between three and six hours at a time. Some nights we only have to get up once, and other nights we get up a couple of times. I'm getting more sleep now than when I was pregnant! During the day, she may take long naps or she may take cat naps. There's just no telling. On the days she only takes cat naps, I don't get much done. But most days that's not the case. I continue to swaddle her overnight, and she's still sleeping in her bassinet right next to my bed. I love that she's so close, and sometimes I just watch her sleep. Sleeping babies are precious.

Last week, I put together a little floor gym for her that was a baby shower gift. She is able to kick the ball and reach out and touch the toys with her fists. I've noticed that she is developing hand-eye coordination. She likes to try to hold her pacifier and her bottle.

In the last couple of days she has begun to smile at me in recognition and pleasure. I haven't caught her smile on camera yet, but each smile makes my heart soar! She's also differentiating me from other people. While visiting at my sister's house a couple of times in the last week, she watched me while others held her. She definitely knows who her mama is!

We have transitioned from sponge baths on the changing table to semi-sponge baths in the sink. She does not like baths anyway-which-way they are given to her. I've got a cushy foam liner for the sink, and I cover her with a towel for warmth, but she's just not into it. So, I try to keep bath time really short, and I only give her a couple of baths a week at this point.

Lastly, this past week we succeeded in trying two new things together. I successfully got the Moby Wrap on, and we were able to go for a little walk with the doggy and get some chores done. Also, we've ventured out for a couple of walks with the stroller. Yesterday we walked up to the market and the party supply store. Michaela slept the entire time!

What a wonderful month it has been! I'm sure the coming month will bring more changes and fun, too.