Twenty-Nine Weeks

Fetus at twenty-nine weeks

This week, Michaela weighs nearly three pounds and is approximately 17 inches long. I hope she's nice and comfy in there, because I'm not. My back is just killing me! Next week I will see a chiropractor who specializes in treating pregnant women. He comes highly recommended. I am so hopeful that he can help me with my sciatica and some of the other aches and pains I'm experiencing in my mid-back and my neck and shoulders.

I know it's likely that I've got another ten or eleven weeks to go, but I am so ready for this baby to get here. I'm not ready in the practical sense, but I am ready in the physical sense. I want my body back. By that I don't mean that I want my figure back - although that will be nice. I just want to feel like myself again.

On Friday I took the three-hour glucose test. My dad kindly picked me up, took me to the lab, and then sat with me for the duration. The technicians at the lab were really sweet and they let me rest on a cot in their office for a while. Three hours, one nasty syrupy drink, and four blood draws later I was done. Then Dad took me out for a bite to eat. I am relieved to have that ordeal over with, and I am hopeful that I will not have gestational diabetes. I just can't stand the idea of having yet another complication during this pregnancy.

Appointments

I saw my OB yesterday. We talked about my back pain, and I told her I didn't feel ready to return to work. She was very understanding, and we agreed to extend my leave for another two weeks. The soonest I'll go back is March 8th. I feel a great sense of relief about that outcome.

We also talked about my glucose test. Turns out my number was 159, but the cutoff is 140. Therefore, I must take the three-hour test. Lucky me! I've scheduled that for Friday morning. So, no nutrition counseling for now. Hopefully, I'll pass the test on Friday and be done with it.

After seeing the OB, I went to the dentist. I usually go to the dentist three times a year, but I hadn't been since last July. My most recent appointment should have been in November or December (can't remember which), but I had to cancel and reschedule due to my migraines. Needless to say, my teeth and gums were/are in pretty bad shape after being somewhat neglected. The hygienist did her level best to clean up my dirty mouth. I think it was a lot of work for her, and I know that I bled a lot, but she didn't complain. I'll go back in June for another cleaning and probably some x-rays. Let's hope there are no cavities in my pearly whites. I've never had one before, and I don't want to start getting cavities now. I thought the recliner I sat in at the dentist's office was the most comfortable piece of furniture I've been on in a long time. Wish I could borrow one for a couple of months!

Today's appointment is a prenatal massage. I can hardly wait.

So Much Loss

Two more friends have lost their battles with cancer in the last five days. I am really grieving for them and for their widows. I hate that two more women are left without their husbands and have to journey through grief.

Perhaps my grief is intensified because I am also coming up on the first anniversary of Michael's passing. My thoughts have been full of scenes from those last three weeks - all those visitors, hospice, the sound of the oxygen machine 24/7, waking up many times in the night to help Michael, his confusion at times, watching him become weaker and weaker.

As I took my shower this morning, and I thought about how it's getting harder for me to shave my legs and such, I thought about Michael's last shower. A personal assistant from hospice had come to help him bathe, but he wanted nothing to do with that. He wanted me to help him. I was so worried about his safety getting in and out of the tub, and I didn't feel strong enough to support him anymore. It was a stressful time for us both, and he reluctantly agreed to let hospice bathe him in bed after that. I hated that his dignity was being compromised. He had been this strong, robust man in the prime of his life, and he was reduced to being completely dependent on others for his basic needs. I think he sort of gave up after that.

Anyway, I'm just thinking about our journey, my journey, and now the journey of others as they embark on the difficult experience of widowhood. My heart is heavy for them. Lots of tears.