Don't get me wrong. I have absolutely loved having the last eight weeks off and being home with Michaela. But, dang! It has not been easy at times.
For the most part Michaela is such an easy baby. I am truly blessed. But, there are times when her eating habits and her sleeping "issues" really test me.
Lately, she has not been drinking enough milk, and she prefers to find ways to free it from her cup or bottle (I've had to try both recently). And, I'm sure I've mentioned before, that she enjoys pitching food onto the kitchen floor. Her skills in that area are impressive. Doesn't seem to matter if she likes the food she is eating, or not. Unless I'm giving her one bite at a time, she's going to send some flying. I know it's typical for her age, but it makes me nuts sometimes.
Michaela has been so good about going to bed for most of her short life, but this past week she has been very resistant to naps and bedtime. I was really spoiled for a long time, but now I have had to adopt a bedtime routine (bath, read a book, offer milk, cuddle and say prayers). It does seem to be working for us, and I fully expected that we would need a routine like this eventually. Now is the time! However, naps are another issue. She can be rubbing her eyes and laying down on the floor, but should I pick her up and put her in her crib, she freaks out. I think she's trying to decide if she needs one or two naps, and some days she thinks she doesn't need one at all. That makes getting anything done around here impossible for me.
I have to admit that sometimes I do not take these challenges in stride. I am really working on not overreacting to her undesirable behaviors. There have been times where I am really disappointed in my attitude and my actions. All I can do is learn from the not-so-great moments, and come up with a better plan for the next go-around. That and pray for patience and wisdom. It is so important to me to model grace under pressure for Michaela. I don't want her to sweat the small stuff - and it's all small stuff.
Joannah, it is absolutely the hardest job there is! I remember when Jazzie started giving up her naps. I wasn't ready for her to give it up, but she didn't care whether I was or not ;-)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand your feelings at the moment and it can be so hard at times to figure out what is the right thing to do. Believe me, I have had my share of mommy moments that I wasn't proud of. We have ALL been there. All you can do is put it behind you and do your best. You're a great mom <3
It isn't easy and I'm not even inserting the word, "always" in that sentence. Don't be hard on yourself. there have been nights, thankfully not many, that after the girls have gone to bed, that I wish I could have woken them up and started over again, or just re-done a little part.
ReplyDeleteIt's the good times that we all remember and they far out weigh any of the others.
Trust me, everyone has moments where they feel they messed up and wish they could do it over. Um, like every day for me:). Not that that makes you feel any better about it. Also, maybe she is ready for just one nap? Once I stopped resisting giving up that second nap with both kids, the one solid nap became so much easier to work with!
ReplyDeleteMotherhood IS hard and I dare any mother to say it isn't! I was approaching 40 when we adopted from China and I had so much fun doing things I couldn't do once I became a mom. Going out to hear live music, spending long hours at the bookstore reading and drinking coffee, watching my beloved Longhorns play football instead of Dora, spending hours browsing antique malls and attending auctions to furnish MY four antique booths, and refinishing antique furniture.
ReplyDeleteI miss those things terribly! Lilly is now ten and I still miss doing those things! I left that life behind when I married and moved to PA...but all those things were and ARE a huge part of who I am.
I was very lucky as I have a husband who is a GREAT father for the most part. He and Lilly do lots of fun things and I do all the "mom" things. Sometimes I resent that.
You do BOTH jobs and that is not easy...not to mention working a stressful job! Give yourself a break. At this age routines are a great thing...for both of you. However, when you are short on patience or just plain worn out don't sweat it. She won't remember most of this age. In a year or two, she will remember and all the things you worry about will seemingly fall into place.
I have honestly loved every age with Lilly. This summer, she is so much more independent and is able to fix her own breakfast and lunch as well as being a great helper around the house. We love to bake together and she often spends hours with me in our art studio listening to MY music and painting.
I just saw the newst pics and I must say Michaela is just adorable! She is looking more like a toddler but she is a heart-grabber!!
Enjoy your summer! Don't forget to take some time for yourself and do some things you miss doing
Tracee.