It felt good to get ready to go, to prepare for a change. I'm still hopeful that I'll be chosen for a primary grade assignment at another school in the next few weeks. Principals report back to school next Thursday, and I'm sure they will begin to address their staffing needs soon thereafter. I just need everything to be settled before I have to begin my IVF bed rest. I'm hoping and praying that I'll be reassigned, and have plenty of time to get into my new classroom and set it up before then. After my IVF, I don't want to be doing anything physically demanding.
What I love most about teaching is impacting the lives of my students, challenging them to grow and learn. But the way education is these days, there is so much that can take the focus off of the classroom and the students. And it seems for every kind, helpful, education-valuing parent there are two apathetic or adversarial parents. I'm tired of feeling on the the defense. I'm there to help. I'm educated and experienced. I wish more parents would work with me, not against me. I'm hoping that I will be able to rediscover the joys of teaching this coming year, that work will be a refuge and a pleasant distraction from the grief and pain of Michael's absence.
Before I went in yesterday, my sister called me at home and she prayed with me about my work situation. After that, I felt my anxiety about it lessen considerably. I began to realize that God is so much bigger than the obstacles I have faced in finding another position up to now. I know He loves me and wants to bless me. Not because of anything I have done to deserve it, but because that's His nature. That understanding makes me think of some words of Jesus' that Pastor Bayless frequently quotes:
Or what man is there among you who if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! ~ Matthew 7:9-11
So, I'm going to keep asking and trusting the Lord to meet my needs in this regard.