Doula, Check

Image credit houstondoula.com

The way I envisioned my birth experience before Michael got sick and passed, was that aside from the doctor and nurses Michael would be the only other person with me. He was such a natural caregiver that I knew he would soothe me and encourage me and be all I needed.

But here I am doing this without him, and I've had to come up with a new vision for how I want my birth experience to be.

All I knew was that I wanted my sister to be present, and then a couple of months ago, kind of out of the blue, I had the idea to look into working with a doula. No one I know of has used a doula before, but I thought that for my unique situation it might be a really good thing. The first doula I contacted seemed great, but we were never able to get together. Then she let me know that she is also pregnant, and she's experiencing complications. That meant that she needed to cut back on her work. After all I've been through, I totally understand! Thankfully, she referred me to another doula that she holds in high regard, and we were able to meet today.

I really liked her, and I've asked her to put me on her calendar. Her services include:

• two prenatal visits
• assistance creating a birth plan
• childbirth education, options, and rights
• 24/7 phone and email support throughout
• emotional, physical, and informational support throughout labor and birth
• assistance with initial breastfeeding at the hospital
• one postpartum visit

She will also make additional visits postpartum for an additional cost. I thought it might be good to have her back in the month before I go back to work to help me with the transition to pumping.

We'll meet up again in March to talk about the birth plan and get to know each other better. In the meantime, my sister and I will attend birth education classes at the hospital.

I doubt I would have chosen a doula if I weren't in my situation, but I think it's going to be the best way for me to do this without Michael.

Nursery Planning

There's a lot to be done to turn the back bedroom into a suitable nursery for Michaela. Early on in our marriage, I let Michael take over that room and use it for his studio. Last year at this time, my mom helped me repurpose it into a bedroom for him. It really hasn't changed since then.

You might remember that my parents purchased the crib I picked out just a couple weeks ago:

I will use the bedding I chose back when I was adopting from China:


There's a wall sconce in that bedroom that I'm going to replace. I found this pretty one online today, and it was inexpensive so I ordered it:

And after searching the Internet for something sweet to hang over the crib, I was just about to give up until I came across this:

Of course, mine will be personalized with Michaela's name. Since it's designed to adhere to the wall, I won't have to worry about something falling off into the crib during an earthquake.

There's still a lot of sorting and packing to do in the room before I can (with help) begin to pull it all together. I also plan to have a ceiling fan installed, and replace the nearly fifteen year old cheap plastic blinds with white wood blinds like I have in several other rooms of the house. The wall color will stay the same as it's a pinky beige - very soft and feminine. It's a small room, so I really need to avoid accumulating too much decorative stuff. My goal is to make it pretty and functional. I'll post pictures when it starts coming together.

Twenty-One Weeks

Fetus at twenty-one weeks

Michaela is now about 7 inches in length and about 11 ounces. I feel her moving around throughout the day, especially when I'm sitting still or lying down. According to one of my pregnancy books, this is the start of my sixth month, but other books still consider it to be my fifth month. I think I look six months pregnant at this point!

I had a painful feeling in my lower abdomen that started last Sunday evening and continued through Monday. I called the doctor on call early Monday morning, but he gave me the brush off and told me to get a maternity girdle. Later in the morning, my mom took me to the ER and I was checked in to labor and delivery for monitoring. At first they thought I might have an irritable uterus, but after monitoring me for a while that seemed to be ruled out. The nurse was concerned that I was dehydrated and she had me drink a lot of water. Everything with the baby checked out fine, and I have been making more of an effort to drink water. Later in the morning, I saw my OB and he checked to be sure my cervix was okay, and it was.

Thankfully the nausea has all but gone away. If I let my hunger go too long, I can feel nauseated again. But, for the most part, it seems to be gone. As for my appetite, I am hungry all the time. I eat every hour and a half to two hours to avoid problems. Sometimes I feel like I can't eat enough to make the hunger pains go away. It's exhausting. I still have two headaches a day (without fail), but they are usually manageable with Tylenol.

I came home a couple of nights ago, and it is really good to be sleeping in my own bed again. At first I was nervous about coming home, but I'm managing well so far.

As I write this, it is New Year's Eve. I didn't have too many New Year's Eves with Michael because he usually had a gig. Last year was one of the rare occasions that he did not, and that was because I made him give it to another musician. He was too weak to work. I really can't remember how we spent the evening, but I'm pretty sure it was here at home. Tonight will be spent at home, too. This year has been a toughy. I don't want to dwell on all the was lost. I'm just thankful that the Lord has carried me through, and I know he will do the same in the year to come. He never changes.

Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
²³ They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
²⁴ “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,

“ Therefore I hope in Him!”

Lamentations 3:22-24

Happy New Year!