Happy New Year!
The past year was a year of change, of healing, and of blessings. The best change, healing agent, and blessing is (of course) Michaela. When I lost Michael, I seriously thought that my dream of having a child might be lost, too. My pregnancy with her was so challenging, but she is the best baby. She was worth it all. It is not easy doing this on my own, but it is so rewarding.
Other changes were work-related. While I wouldn't call my new situation perfect, it is an improvement from where I found myself a year ago. I am working with some other teachers who have experienced great losses as well, and there is an understanding amongst us that I truly appreciate and need.
For the most part, I have been living in the moment - not looking back too, too much, and not looking forward so much, either. Looking back can be painful, and looking forward overwhelming. However, I am beginning to think about my future more and acknowledging the desires of my heart to the Lord. I would like to be married again someday, and I would like Michaela to have a man in her life who would love her as his own. I know that Michael would just want me to be happy, and to have the Lord's best for Michaela and me. I have known of several "widow friends" who married again this past year, and their new happiness is a beautiful thing to see. So, I enter the new year with an open heart to the possibility of a new relationship, and the intention of waiting on the Lord to see where He leads me in that.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.