Thursday, January 3, 2013

One Word

lbukun, a reader (check out her blog at She is out of control...), suggested I consider participating in One Word hosted by Melanie at Only a Breath. So, I visited Melanie's blog today to get a sense of what One Word is all about, and here's what I learned:

What do you want to focus on in 2013?
It can be something tangible or intangible. It can be a thought, a feeling, an action, or a character trait. Your word will be a reminder, a nudge. Something you can reflect on, that will challenge you, that will inspire you.
Your word can be anything you want it to be. All that matters is that it has personal meaning for you.
This is your word. It needs to resonate with your heart, no one else’s.
Melanie went on to say that instead of coming up with a list of resolutions that One Word can be one's personal "theme" for the new year. Sounds good to me.

So here's mine: in "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; And lean not on your own understanding" {Psalm 3:5}.

I chose this one word because there is so much uncertainty in our world, and in my own life. I have absolutely no control over the unsettling things that are going on around the world, and not as much control over my own life as I'd like to have. However, God is sovereign and He is mighty to save {Zephaniah 3:17}. I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but hard times could be ahead. I want to focus on trusting Jesus with all of my concerns instead of perseverating on them.

What kind of concerns? Well here are a couple:
  • Will we receive a favorable decision from Social Security that will allow Michaela to receive Michael's benefits?
  • Will I spend another year alone? Or, will this be the year in which God brings a good man into our lives?
None of those things are too big for God, of course, but sometimes they are things that worry concern me. If we were to receive Michael's benefits for Michaela (as I believe we should), I could eliminate the rest of the debt I incurred from our fertility treatments, and then be able to afford to send her to a private Christian school when the time comes. As for remaining single, that is something that burdens my heart. I want to share my life with a wonderful, godly man, and I want Michaela to know a father's love. Furthermore, while I know that the Lord is my protector and provider, I would like him to send us someone to be that for us. I so appreciated the ways in which Michael was that for me when I was his wife. In my opinion, marriage and family are a shelter for women and children, and I want that for Michaela and myself.

So, as 2013 debuts, I will trust the Lord with the things that presently concern me, and the things to come. Each month, on the 15th, I will attempt to update how my One Word {trust} has helped me in the previous weeks, and how the Lord has proved Himself worthy of my trust.


  1. I pray that God will grant your heart desire and He help you trust Him completely. Rest in Him, sweet friend

  2. Yay! I'm so glad you are participating in One Word! I will join Ibukun in praying tht the Lord will grant your heart's desire. Just as God took his time preparing the final touches of Michaela, he is working on the final touches of a godly man for you both. I can't think of anyone more deserving than the two of you!

  3. Beautiful, just beautiful. Thank you for sharing your word. Hugs to you!!

  4. I was a tad late to One Word 2013. I had actually given quite a bit of thought to it last summer because my One Word 2012 was an epic fail by July. I had already had two surgeries and was anticipating another. I found out my mother was beating my 78 year old father with Parkinson's. I wrestled with turning her in, but before I could my father got sick and by the end of October, he was in and out of the hospital. My next surgery happened the week before Thanksgiving, and I got a call from my mom the day after Thanksgiving that he had been in hospice for a week. He died exactly 36 hours after I arrived and my brother and his family returned from their cruise. I spent the month of December so incredibly angry at myself for not turning her in...and angry with her for basically killing him. It all came down to money to her. The money he worked his ass off for.

    After I returned from Texas for his funeral, I got bronchitis as well as had my stitches taken out 2 1/2 weeks too late. A week later, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. I lost my voice and I truly believe it was stress...because I couldn't talk on the phone to her.

    So after a craptastic 2012 (and a less than stellar 2011) I chose my word. Heal. Physically and mentally. I see a therapist weekly and have been with her for 3 years. I would like to see someone else, but I've got so much invested in her and I don't think I have the energy to start over with a new one.

    It took 4 weeks, one week of steriods and 3 different antibiotics to finally kick the pneumonia. I've lost 30 pounds and cannot go from a sitting position to a standing position without assistance. I'm just a wreck. I don't know where to start. I ignore her calls 9 times out of 10 because I carry so much anger for her.

    This year just has to get better. Last week, after a 36-month wait, a denial for disability and the wait for my court date, I was approved. The Judge actually apologized to me for having to wait so long.

    I'm rambling...but I do hope for great things for you and your sweet Michaela.


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