The first dream was heartbreaking and I woke up crying. He was healthy and all I wanted to do was to feel his skin, his hair, his face. I kept saying Let me do this so that I can remember what you feel like. Michael didn't understand why I was saying that, so I explained that I knew that he was going to get cancer and die. Then he cried and the dream was over.
It was so real. I could really feel him.
Two nights ago the dream was not a tear jerker. I don't think I realized at first that he was even in the dream. He just sort of seeped into it or something. Dreams are weird. My dreams are weird anyway. We had stumbled upon a little place to eat, and we were having breakfast with another couple. I have no idea who they were. I was cutting up a pancake into little, eensy, weensy bites. Michael was sitting next to me, but I don't think I looked over at him even once. I was engrossed with cutting up the pancake. See, I told you my dreams are weird.
Weirder still is the dream I just woke up from in which I was a host on the Today show. We were having to do some really ridiculous stuff in Halloween costumes, but it was my birthday. My birthday is three days before Christmas so how that all goes together I don't know. I remember thinking Is this really my job? This is stupid. I can't believe I have to do this. When the show was over, I was walking down some street in New York City with Meredith Viera and I was telling her about Jesus. Oh, my...