Thursday, April 15, 2010

High Anxiety

Of all the aspects of grief I've experienced so far - sorrow, disbelief, irritability, insomnia, loss of appetite, forgetfulness, and loneliness - anxiety is by far the most bothersome of them all.

I can be feeling fine, meaning that I'm not consumed with thoughts about Michael, but my body will signal otherwise. My heart starts pounding and my extremities get achy. My doctor has given me a couple of different prescriptions to try, but I usually only take them after the anxiety has become unbearable because I don't like the side effects.

I talked to my doctor and my counselor about my anxiety earlier this week, and my doctor recommended that I incorporate some yoga into my routine to help me practice good breathing. She said that a lot of the symptoms of anxiety are due to shallow breathing. I have some yoga DVDs here at the house, and I think I will start using them if only for the relaxation portion at the conclusion of the DVD where you focus on releasing tension in your body and breathing deeply.

I've also noticed that too much visual and auditory stimulation bring on my anxiety, so I'm going to have to avoid some things for now. Last weekend, a crowded store seemed to be a trigger. Last night, I attended the taping of a television show with my mom, and that was also stressful. But, just getting up and getting out the door in the morning for an appointment can also bring it on, and those are things I have to do. Anxiety really stinks. I don't want it to have a hold on me.

Lord Jesus, please bless me with an anxiety-free afternoon and evening.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7


  1. I also will pray for reduced anxiety, my friend. Do you have a quiet reflection place where you can go and rest and breathe? Like a garden or park? Do only what you must do and leave the rest for later (or never)!

  2. Anxiety is such a horrible feeling. I have a friend who suffers from it and it's debilitating at times, as you have described. I think the Yoga is a great place to start. Savasna pose is my favorite ;)

    I think taking walks might be helpful too, it clears the mind and being out with the earth energy doesn't does the body good. You know your limits, do what feels good for you.

  3. Big Hugs.. hope that you feel better soon..
    I can't imagine..
    Love ya..

  4. Thank you for the update. I continue to think of you often and pray for you. May God provide an armor over your body and prevent anxiety from coming in.

  5. Huge hugs. Anxiety is a terrible thing -- it just sneaks up and then consumes you doesn't it?

    (Sorry I haven't been commenting, I had the wrong url and just found your blog again through a friend's blog.)

  6. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am praying it will get a little better for you soon..Hugs

  7. Anxiety is horrible. You will learn tips that help YOU manage. The deep breathing is one. The trick is to learn to make yourself start to deep breath when you feel it coming on. ( I find that if I can be outside while breathing it is even more effective)

    A hot bath can help. You might try some aroma therapy too.

    Look for food triggers too. There may be some foods to avoid, but it is also important to make yourself eat so your blood sugar does not drop.

  8. Oh, I'm so sorry...Even though my mother (who lived with us for 12 years) died almost two years ago, I still have floating anxiety at's that uneasy feeling that something is wrong...and you know what? Something IS wrong...she's gone...We weren't intended for this...death is the ultimate separation...separation from those we love...and while we know we'll see our loved ones again, we still feel this because God obviously did not wire us for death...that came after...I will pray God wraps you in his peace, and holds you close...and in the meantime? I think you are handling the anxiety PERFECTLY!! Love you much! Janine XOXO


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