I think that one of the strangest things about losing a loved one is how time marches on. On the one hand, I wish it wouldn't so that I would be closer to those times when we were still together. One the other hand, having an eternal perspective, I realize that I am nine months closer to our Heavenly reunion. I find it's best for me to look forward and not backward.
I say it every month, but truly there aren't words adequate to express how much I miss Michael. This whole pregnancy experience would be so very different if he were here. My life would be so different if he was still here. We loved being married to each other, and having children together was our dream.
Despite the loss and the heartache, I choose to trust the Lord and His promises. I do believe that what has been lost will be restored and redeemed one day in ways that I cannot even begin to comprehend. That will have to be enough for now, and it surprisingly is. Funny how when we trust Jesus, He fills us with peace and hope to get through the worst of times. Life is hard, but God is good all the time.
Friday would have been Michael's 55th birthday. I am hoping to feel well enough to join my in-laws for dinner that night to remember him and celebrate our love for him together.