Thursday, March 18, 2010

Taking Some Time Off

Today I was given the huge blessing of having the remainder of the school year off. My doctor agreed that I have had enough stress and strain over the last year or so, and that I will benefit from having time off to heal. She prescribed a medical leave of absence for me, and my school district is accommodating me. I am so relieved and thankful.

I just know that I have nothing left to give my students at this point. I don't have the energy or the patience. They deserve the best and I am not in a position to give it to them. I'm confident that their present substitute teacher will finish the year with them and provide them a good education.

In the months to come, I will have to live through my grief - whatever that may be like. I hope to travel a little bit and see some good friends, take a daily walk with my dog, spend time with the Lord in prayer and in study, get to church at least once a week, and attend a grief group. I have a few other ideas, but I'm trying to take it one day at a time and not get too far ahead of myself. However, it's my nature to plan and prepare. I don't think I'll be sitting around twiddling my thumbs, but if that's what I need to do then I'll do it.

Changing the subject a bit, my mom and I stopped by Michael's niche today because they installed a vase on the exterior of it. Our contact at the cemetery said he would be having some fresh flowers put in it before our visit. I really liked how that turned out, and then my mom made arrangements for it to have fresh flowers every week for the next three months. I don't know how often I'll feel the need to stop by Michael's niche, because I know he's not there, but I think it's a nice way to honor his memory right now.

Lastly, Teresa left for home this morning. I'm spending my first afternoon on my own, and I think I may be up for being home on my own tonight, too. My sister has offered to spend the night, but I don't think I'll need her to. I'm enjoying the quiet, and I've got Buffy here for company. Please pray for me to be at peace here at home on my own tonight and from here on out.

28 comments:

  1. Thinking about you and sending you good vibes. Come out east and visit me here in MA...I'm not kidding. It's so pretty here in the spring.
    Sara

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  2. I am so relieved that you are taking the rest of the year off. I can't even begin to imagine how you would have gone back to teaching after everything you have been through. It's not like we have a desk job where we can put our heads down and cry when we need to.
    You can bet that prayers will be said in your honor tonight. May you sleep peacefully, soundly and wake feeling renewed.

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  3. I will pray!!! And I am glad that you have the time off...I can't imagine returning to teaching immediately after this...and will pray that the grief will not be too overwhelming during these next days, weeks, and of course, years...Love you, Janine XO

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  4. I was wondering if you'd be able to take the rest of the year off. I'm glad you'll have this time to work through your grief without the pressure of having to go to work. I'll be praying for peace for you...

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  5. I'm so glad you are able to be off for the rest of the school year, you definately need this time! Prayers for a peaceful night tonight, I hope you get some rest.

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  6. I've been thinking about you often and praying that you will find your way through this grieving process. You are an incredibly strong women and I know you will survive and even grow from this experience.

    My heart still aches for what you are going through. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. Please know that I'm praying for your peace.

    Donna

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  7. Oh Joannah,
    I am so glad that you are able to take a leave of absence without any issues. Take things day by day, or even moment to moment. Praying that you have peace.
    Jan

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  8. Praying for God to hold you close and for you to feel at peace and enjoy some alone time. Linda (MomMom)

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  9. LOVE YOU and thinking of you ..
    HUGS>..

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  10. I was wondering how you were going to handle work, I was hoping you would honor your need to take a lot of time off.

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  11. You are in my prayers daily...xx

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  12. So glad to hear you are going to have that time off. You are more than welcome to come visit AZ whenever you like. I have discovered some hidden gems in the southeastern corner of the state, and would be glad to play tour guide if you'd like to plan a trip some time. Did you know we even have a couple good wineries in AZ? Seriously!

    Praying for peace and continued strength tonight and in the coming days.

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  13. I'm glad you're able to take some time off. Hey.... how about coming up here and teaching MY kids?? :-) Please consider us when you're ready to plan your travels... our house is your house. Sweet dreams tonight, Joannah.

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  14. Thinking of you all the time and knowing we will see you sometime in the future and get to give you the hug that is in our hearts

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  15. I was so worried about your returning to work, I remember my mum telling me she had to return full time about 6 weeks after my Dad died and how horrible that was for her, so I'm so releaved that you have the rest of the school year and summer off, so releaved you have time for whatever you need. What an answer to prayer!

    Love and prayers from across the seas!

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  16. Thinking of you and glad to hear that you will have some time off. Keeping you in my prayers.

    Janet

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  17. I'm so glad you'll have some time to be still right now... to take each day as it comes. Prayers still being offered.

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  18. The rest of the year off is such a good idea. You need that time to regroup and to find your way.

    Thinking of you dear lady and wishing you peace. xxx

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  19. Such a blessing to have this time to renew and reflect. I am so thankful for this for you Joannah. I hope last night was okay....you're always in our prayers.

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  20. My goodness I foolishly assumed you would have automatically been granted time off until the end of the year. Sometimes my mind still lives in England even after all these years. So glad to know that you have been granted this time to start your healing process.
    You braved a huge step last night and I hope it was a smooth transition for you and Buffy. Don't forget that it does not mean that some times you will still need a hand to hold and that is okay to ask for help even if it is months from now.

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  21. Love you, my Friend. Take the time to heal physically, emotionally and yes, spiritually.

    Hugs,
    Tamara

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  22. I am praying for peace for you tonight my sweet friend. I am thankful that you are able to take some time off too. Come to Oklahoma! We have lots of room- and quiet space (well, ok, outside is quiet...not too quiet inside our house, LOL) - we would love to have you any time. Email or call any time. I have the same cell phone. XOXO

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  23. I applaud you for thinking of your students in the midst of everything; it's never easy to leave your class in the hands of someone else. I am happy to hear that you are taking some time off to heal and grieve. Prayers and love about last night and the days to come. Love you!

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  24. So very happy for you that you have the time off to grief and do whatever you need to do to heal. Sounds like you have some wonderful idea on how you will spend your time. I love that you are prepared to honor whatever shows up.

    Hope you were able to rest your after your friend left. Wishing you peace.
    xoxoxox

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  25. Sweet Joannah,
    I have been thinking of you so much- hoping you are finding moments of peace, moments of rest... grief does flood and fall away, I learned to honor the calm moments as respite-- necessary!-- and to know, when the flood waters rise that they will recede, and somehow that made it easier.

    I am so very happy for you that you were able to arrange time off- that is such a blessing! Please know that whatever you decide these next months, plans, ideas, trips, you can *always* change your mind, even mid stride. Let yourself off the hook of "shoulds" and "oughts" and let yourself feel your way through this. Some days you can be superwoman. Some days you may need to remind yourself to eat.

    Sending love to you,
    Kate

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  26. I am so glad you are taking some time off just for you. This will be such needed time to gather your self and begin to take those gental steps into your new life.

    I would love to invite you to Shell Beach in June. Annalise and I will be there for 3+ weeks and would love to spend some time with you. It will be more twards the end of the month. If it works into your schedule.

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  27. I so hope we are a stop on your off duty tour! :)

    I am glad you are taking time off to regroup and recharge.

    I have tried to comment a few times but my computer wouldn't let me, hopefully this works!

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