I just know that I have nothing left to give my students at this point. I don't have the energy or the patience. They deserve the best and I am not in a position to give it to them. I'm confident that their present substitute teacher will finish the year with them and provide them a good education.
In the months to come, I will have to live through my grief - whatever that may be like. I hope to travel a little bit and see some good friends, take a daily walk with my dog, spend time with the Lord in prayer and in study, get to church at least once a week, and attend a grief group. I have a few other ideas, but I'm trying to take it one day at a time and not get too far ahead of myself. However, it's my nature to plan and prepare. I don't think I'll be sitting around twiddling my thumbs, but if that's what I need to do then I'll do it.
Changing the subject a bit, my mom and I stopped by Michael's niche today because they installed a vase on the exterior of it. Our contact at the cemetery said he would be having some fresh flowers put in it before our visit. I really liked how that turned out, and then my mom made arrangements for it to have fresh flowers every week for the next three months. I don't know how often I'll feel the need to stop by Michael's niche, because I know he's not there, but I think it's a nice way to honor his memory right now.
Lastly, Teresa left for home this morning. I'm spending my first afternoon on my own, and I think I may be up for being home on my own tonight, too. My sister has offered to spend the night, but I don't think I'll need her to. I'm enjoying the quiet, and I've got Buffy here for company. Please pray for me to be at peace here at home on my own tonight and from here on out.