After four interviews in the last couple of weeks, I don't think I will be given the opportunity to experience a grade level change or move to another school. I am very disappointed and somewhat hurt. Opportunities posted for positions at other schools were for temporary teachers - teachers without permanent employment in the district, but nevertheless teachers whose principals are happy to keep them in their current positions.
At my own school, my principal has made some determinations about me and the way I interact with my colleagues and has chosen not to place me in the position(s) I asked for because of her prejudices. It's hard to work for a new principal - typically since they have little sense of the school's history or the dynamics of their staff. It seems to me this principal has been making decisions based on a lot of assumptions. It's even harder for me because I've just lived through the worst possible personal experience, and that has or hasn't been factored into what I can or can't do professionally.
I've really struggled with this situation over the last several weeks. But, it's time for me to lay it down. I'm tired of beating my head against the proverbial brick wall. What matters right now is that I refocus on my health and mental well-being while I prepare for my FET. Work-related stress must be avoided. Anger over the situation and the difficult personalities involved must be let go.
Somehow God will work all things together for good (Romans 8:28).
In my frustration and heartache, I was searching the Internet for articles about being a Christian in the secular workforce and I came across a variation of the Twenty-third Psalm. I modified it to speak to my own situation.
~Twenty-third Psalm for the Educator~
The Lord is my real principal and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray before I speak and to do all things without murmuring and complaining.
He reminds me that He is my Source and not my job.
He restores my sanity every day and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in everything I do.
Even though I face absurd amounts of papers to grade, unreasonable parents, unrealistic expectations regarding student outcomes, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, unfair decisions, and a grieving heart and body that doesn’t want to leave the comfort of my home every morning,
I will not stop–for He is with me!
His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.
He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even if others don't want to work with me.
His faithfulness and love are better than any furlough days.
His retirement plan beats every pension plan there is.
When it’s all said and done, I’ll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I bless His Name.
Can I get an amen, teachers?