Friday, June 11, 2010

Not Working Out the Way I'd Hoped

After four interviews in the last couple of weeks, I don't think I will be given the opportunity to experience a grade level change or move to another school. I am very disappointed and somewhat hurt. Opportunities posted for positions at other schools were for temporary teachers - teachers without permanent employment in the district, but nevertheless teachers whose principals are happy to keep them in their current positions.

At my own school, my principal has made some determinations about me and the way I interact with my colleagues and has chosen not to place me in the position(s) I asked for because of her prejudices. It's hard to work for a new principal - typically since they have little sense of the school's history or the dynamics of their staff. It seems to me this principal has been making decisions based on a lot of assumptions. It's even harder for me because I've just lived through the worst possible personal experience, and that has or hasn't been factored into what I can or can't do professionally.

I've really struggled with this situation over the last several weeks. But, it's time for me to lay it down. I'm tired of beating my head against the proverbial brick wall. What matters right now is that I refocus on my health and mental well-being while I prepare for my FET. Work-related stress must be avoided. Anger over the situation and the difficult personalities involved must be let go.

Somehow God will work all things together for good (Romans 8:28).

In my frustration and heartache, I was searching the Internet for articles about being a Christian in the secular workforce and I came across a variation of the Twenty-third Psalm. I modified it to speak to my own situation.

~Twenty-third Psalm for the Educator~

The Lord is my real principal and I shall not want.

He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.

He gently reminds me to pray before I speak and to do all things without murmuring and complaining.

He reminds me that He is my Source and not my job.

He restores my sanity every day and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in everything I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of papers to grade, unreasonable parents, unrealistic expectations regarding student outcomes, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, unfair decisions, and a grieving heart and body that doesn’t want to leave the comfort of my home every morning,

I will not stop–for He is with me!

His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.

He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.

He claims me as His own, even if others don't want to work with me.

His faithfulness and love are better than any furlough days.

His retirement plan beats every pension plan there is.

When it’s all said and done, I’ll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I bless His Name.

Can I get an amen, teachers?


  1. Amen, Amen, amen!!!!! Wonderful, Joannah!!! I love it!!! So, so sorry about your work situation though...I will keep it in my prayers continually for you...God may have something really amazing in store...I'm going to pray that He does...and for peace for you in the meantime...Love you so very much!!! Hope your weekend is full of peace...and that God wraps you in His arms!!! Love you!!! Janine XO

  2. I know this situation is so frustrating, and I wish for your sake that the previous principal was still there. I'm sorry it's not working out as you'd hoped. I have to assume there's a bigger reason yet to be revealed as to why God sees fit to keep you where you are. I do hope that you are NOT being relocated back to one of those darn portables!

    Hang in there Joannah. ((Hugs))

  3. AMEN, AMEN, AMEN! I love how you re-worked the Psalm to fit the current situation you are in with your school. I will pray that possibly there will be some light in the school this next year. Maybe God will be able to work in some hearts. HE does have THE plan and I am super glad you are staying strong and focusing on your own health. In the journey of grief you have to do what is best for you. Never worry what others will think or say. I know I allowed too many sleepless nights as others "judged" how long I was grieving for my husband. If there was one thing I learned it is about the uniqueness of each person's journey/grief and that others should not be making decisions about us! So stand strong and realize that you are surviving, by the grace of God, the most heart-wrenching loss. If others could walk a mile in your shoes.... Anyway I am upset that fellow teachers are not treating you with more empathy and that you have to endure this. Focus on the beauty to come, for it certainly will come. Hugs, Sarah

  4. I am sorry things are not working out as planned. Maybe the plan is outside the box? New career path? New school district? Or maybe God is just putting you on a path to help that one student that really needs YOU?

  5. OH, get thee to a Christian school pronto! As someone who has taught in both, I cannot tell you the difference it has made to me. I know that public schools need Christian teachers, but for my spiritual well-being, I MUST work in a Christian environment. And there are sooo many wonderful, licensed Christian schools that pay very well. Devotions every morning, prayer at staff meetings, praying with your students...I cannot tell you how amazing it is! Email me if you want and I will send you some information on schools in your area. :)

  6. I am so very sorry that the school situation is such a source of frustration for you. The politics of teacher-dom are ridiculous and petty. I wish people would realize that happy teachers make for happy students.

  7. Looking forward to the day when you can look back on this tough work situation and see God's redeeming fingerprints all over it. Until then, praying for you . . . just take one step at a time as He guides you and know that He loves you.

  8. Just hear to tell you that I've been particularly asking God to wrap His arms around you this week! I love you much! Janine XO

  9. Joannah, if you need help moving your classroom, just name the day and time and Joe and I will be there. We can talk more about it on Saturday. I'm sorry things aren't going the way you hoped.


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