Today marks seven months since Michael had to leave me.
I really miss him - especially now that I'm pregnant and back at work. He was such a good partner. He took such good care of me. I've been thinking about all he used to do since I've not been feeling well and I don't have as much time to get things done around here. Unlike some men, Michael was not above any household tasks. He would clean, cook, do laundry, run errands, take the dog to the vet - whatever was needed. I really appreciated his help.
Of course I miss his companionship, too. I feel much more isolated and I do fewer things than I did when he was here. I miss the lifestyle we had together. We were always having fun. Michael was fun.
Tomorrow marks a year since my grandmother passed away. I miss her, too, but I feel like I didn't have time to really mourn her passing because I was so busy caring for Michael and then mourning him.
Last week a coworker and friend passed away. She was so young. Her family is devastated. There are several things I could tell them that I think made a positive difference for me in my early grief, but there's no way around the gaping hole that remains in your life and the nagging sense of loss. You just have to learn to live with it the best you can.
and Hugs my friend. Seven months seems like a lifetime ago and yet in reality I am sure it still feels very new to you in many ways. I wish Michael was there to help out, to share the joy and not so joyful moments. I wish you didnt have to do this alone. xoxoxoxx
ReplyDeletewas your co workers death unexpected?
ReplyDeleteOh, not another tragedy! That is so sad. I know you have a lot to offer that family. I hope they maybe will come to you for help. I think life after a loss is a different sort of life than most people live, and the people who have not experienced it (like me) can't understand it. That gaping hole must be so hard to live with. But you have my prayers!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Joannah, it is a different perspective living life after loss. You will be a support and help to the family, as well as totally understanding that all grief is unique and they have to walk through it in their way. I am certain they will feel blessed to have your support. I also wish that Michael were here, on earth, as you go through the stages of this miraculous pregnancy. It has got to be so hard. Sending you prayers....each month and each "anniversary" as you journey through this first year, in particular, rips at the heart and makes the grief even more intense, if that is even possible. Thinking of you and sending you hugs, Sarah
ReplyDeleteDearest Joannah...I just posted about grief,too. Some things you just never get over...my dad has been gone 17 years...my mom just over two...I'm still grieving...but you are SO wise...yes, we do the best we can...that's all anyone can do!! I love you!!!! Praying for you every single day!!! ~Janine XO
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry....I marvel at how God is using your life, but I know the grief has to be unbearable at times. This child is such a blessing, and he/she is going to be used in glorious ways for the Lord. I can just feel it....it makes me explode with such joy. ::hugs::
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