It's my first Valentine's Day as a widow. I have spent many a Valentine's Day as a single girl, and I can tell you that having a sweetheart makes Valentine's Day much more fun. But I know that I am loved. Michael said he would love me forever, and I know that he does. I am also loved by my family and friends, and the Lord loves me with an unfailing love (Psalm 48:9).
Last Valentine's Day was pretty awful. We had just received the worst news about Michael's prognosis three days before, but despite that we had plans to celebrate the day together. Michael wanted me to go down to his favorite epicerie and bring home duck confit (a favorite of his) and some other delectables. It was something we had done on other occasions, and it was a way we could have a nice dinner at home.
The day was compromised because so many of his family members wanted to see him, and this was before they were respecting our wishes for short visits. At one point our little house had eight visitors in it for two hours or more. Michael was simply wiped out after all of that, and I was distraught. I just felt like we had no control over our own environment, and there was one person present who was intentionally disregarding our wishes to assert herself. That was really hurtful and infuriating to me. Thankfully Michael's sister returned from a business trip shortly thereafter and laid down the law about visits with everyone on our behalf. From that point on things were more manageable. I'm just sorry that our last Valentine's Day together was so stressful for us both.
This year my Valentine treat is going to the perinatalogist and seeing Michaela on their high-definition equipment. Surely that will be the highlight of my day.
I wish you all a lovely Valentine's Day, and that you know true love (John 3:16).
You are loved, always and forever. Even though it is from Heaven above it will be surrounding you forever. It doesn't take away the earthly ache and pain, but yes, you are so loved. By Michael and by our Heavenly Father. Praying the the images of your beautiful baby girl fill another part of your heart with love. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteCelebrating Valentine's day without a husband just don't work very well.It was also my first Valentine's Day alone in 38 years.I cried most of the day.At times out loud and other time in my heart.
ReplyDeleteRuth