Monday, September 12, 2011
Working Mom Blues
Today was the fourth day of the new school year. I am grateful to be in a new school and working with new people, but I honestly hate leaving Michaela. I know she's in good hands with our nanny and her grandparents. It's not that. It's that by the time I get home from wrangling my students (that's what it feels like), I am so tired that I don't feel like I have much left to give her. I totally forgot our little bedtime routine tonight of books and songs and prayers. I don't want her childhood to be less than because I'm tired and distracted when I get home from spending the day with other people's kids.
I just want to pour myself into her. Be there to witness all the firsts. I've already missed a couple just since I went back to work not even two weeks ago. Sigh...
I long to be a SAHM, but I know that even if Michael was here that wouldn't be possible. However, it is something I pray for because I've learned that miracles do happen. Michaela is my miracle. Truly anything is possible. So I'll just keep petitioning the Lord and see what His plans are for our life, and take it one day at a time. It's overwhelming to get anymore ahead of myself than that.
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! (Matthew 7:11)