It's hard to believe that it's been eight months already. There are no words to describe how much I miss Michael. I think about him all the time, and I reflect on all the good things we shared and were able to do in our short marriage. The picture above is from a quick trip we took to northern California in June of 2007. We stayed at a really neat place in Guerneville nestled amongst the redwood trees. It was kind of rustic, but they had a great restaurant on site. The purpose of our trip was to check out the venue at which we got married that fall. I wish I could say it was a romantic trip, but he was dealing with a lot of guilt about leaving another relationship to marry me. He was a reluctant groom until we got much closer to the wedding. By then he embraced his decision and we were both really joyful and content with our decision.
Speaking of our wedding, this coming Thursday would have been our third wedding anniversary. It's a shame that we had such a short time together here on Earth. But there are some things that I've come to understand in the last eight months and they are comforting.
Michael's days were numbered - and so are mine, and so are yours:
. . . And in Your book they were all written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. (Psalm 139:16)
Michael entered the presence of the Lord as soon as he left my presence:
We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:10)
He is experiencing the wonders of the present Heaven, worshiping the Lord, and enjoying fellowship and friendship with others. I imagine he's got a pretty busy social life hanging out with new friends and making music, and maybe even playing a game of pick-up basketball. I also believe he is missing me and his family and friends, and that Heaven won't be complete for him until we're there together.
I see my life here as a journey to Heaven and our reunion. I must be here for a reason, and I will continue to share my story and point to Jesus as long as I have breath in the hopes that someone who is weak in their faith will be strengthened, and that someone who has no faith in Christ will consider His claims. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." (John 14:6) He is the way to Heaven.
There is no way that I've gotten through these last eight months like I have except that the Lord is my strength and my hope. Without Him and His promises, I would be in bed hiding from life. That's me without Him and the truth of His Word. When dark thoughts linger, and I'm struggling with the loneliness and all of my shattered dreams, I consider His Word and His precious promises and I am strengthened and comforted, and someday I will see what now I can only believe.
The most comforting thing of all is that I know that Michael is a bigger part of my future than he is of my past. Once I get Home, our time together will never be limited again. Praise God for that! Come quickly, Lord Jesus!