I remember coming home from work and wanting to go some place where we could get a taco and a margarita. I think I had to push Michael to go out that night. I don't remember why. Maybe he was feeling tired, but this was before he was diagnosed so our life was still normal. We ended up at El Torito and they had super cheap drinks and food in their bar area. We left before it got too crowded and noisy. That's all I remember. Aside from it being Cinco de Mayo it could have been any other night after work as we frequently went out to eat.
Remembering this earlier today intensified my grief. I've just been missing him like crazy. We had such a nice life together.
I think this is just a taste of what's to come in the months, and perhaps years to come. There will be many occasions and dates on the calendar that bring back memories and refresh my grief. People experiencing these kind of things in the first year after a loved one's death refer to them as "firsts". I wish there were some way to avoid them, but I know there isn't.