I've had several more dreams of Michael this week. The first one I remember he had returned home (how one does that from where he is, I do not know...), and he was moving all his studio equipment back in the house. He was actually taking over the living room with all of it, but I was so happy to have him back that I didn't even care about all the crap and clutter coming into the house.
In another dream, he had disappeared from our lives, but we didn't know why or where he was. I was on the phone with his mother and we were both perplexed by his absence. He wouldn't return our calls. It was very distressing and I woke up with a start. Thankfully, I'm not living that dream. I know Michael is safe and sound with the Lord.
In the third dream, I found him walking around in the parking lot at church looking for his car. Of course I was surprised to see him, and I asked him how he managed to get back here from there. I don't recall getting an answer to that question. But we did find the car, and I told him he was lucky that I hadn't already given it to his friend Willy (that's the plan IRL). He wasn't interested in driving it, so I did and he sat in the passenger seat. He looked good. The hair he'd lost because of the radiation treatments had grown back, and I was so happy to see his full head of hair again.
It's hard to describe the joy I feel when I dream of Michael. For that moment, he is with me and I am relieved of my loss and my grief. It feels like I've gotten my life back.