I've had several more dreams of Michael this week. The first one I remember he had returned home (how one does that from where he is, I do not know...), and he was moving all his studio equipment back in the house. He was actually taking over the living room with all of it, but I was so happy to have him back that I didn't even care about all the crap and clutter coming into the house.
In another dream, he had disappeared from our lives, but we didn't know why or where he was. I was on the phone with his mother and we were both perplexed by his absence. He wouldn't return our calls. It was very distressing and I woke up with a start. Thankfully, I'm not living that dream. I know Michael is safe and sound with the Lord.
In the third dream, I found him walking around in the parking lot at church looking for his car. Of course I was surprised to see him, and I asked him how he managed to get back here from there. I don't recall getting an answer to that question. But we did find the car, and I told him he was lucky that I hadn't already given it to his friend Willy (that's the plan IRL). He wasn't interested in driving it, so I did and he sat in the passenger seat. He looked good. The hair he'd lost because of the radiation treatments had grown back, and I was so happy to see his full head of hair again.
It's hard to describe the joy I feel when I dream of Michael. For that moment, he is with me and I am relieved of my loss and my grief. It feels like I've gotten my life back.
Hi, Joannah! I think of you so often and pray for you. My father died of colon cancer when I was twelve, so I guess I'm sensitive when others experience grief.
ReplyDeleteMost of the dreams seem very therapeutic for you, and I'm so glad they are helping you work through this painful season of your life. Still, I know it is all extremely difficult.
I will continue to pray for you. So many people love and care for you, and I know that means so much to you. I will also pray for your teaching position. God will lead you. He is your Shepherd.
Much love and hugs,
Andrea
I cry...Oh, Joannah...I wish the dreams would come true...I know someday...but the now is soooo hard. I love you...I send you big hugs...I so wish I could do more. ~Janine XOXO
ReplyDeletePerhaps the dreams are a beautiful and gentle reminder that you will be reunited with Michael one day...and as hard as it is to wake up and face reality, having the experience must be so sorth the tradeoff. It's like this little secert world you escape to where life is perfect again.
ReplyDeleteNow that's what I would call very sweet dreams.
Enjoy!
xoxoxoxox
Blessings to you Joannah, What a loving reminder of how much your husband was linked to your life. I have not walked this path but when I was 21 my mother died and I had dreams of her for many many years because our relationship was strained but I felt that the Lord wanted me to be at peace about it. It did help and I kept dreaming she came back also. I am thankful that the dreams bring you some comfort. I'll be lifting you up dear one.
ReplyDeleteMay His love cover you.
Noreen