As of yesterday, summer arrived in these parts. Instead of overcast skies and cool temperatures, we are experiencing a heatwave. I am being frugal and decided to forgo turning on the air conditioner for now. So it was 87 degrees in the living room this afternoon.
Just a few minutes ago, I went to dress for bed. I remembered a white, cotton nightgown of mine that is good for hot summer nights, and went to get it out of my dresser. As I pulled it out of the drawer, I noticed that Michael must have been the last person to fold it and put it away. He had a different way of folding clothes than I do, so it was easy for me to tell. It was bittersweet to realize that he had been the last person to touch my nightgown.
Earlier this evening, I got sucked into watching Bethenny Getting Married. I really avoid all the Housewives of This, That, and the Other Place and their spinoffs - not my thing. But I let the remote linger there just a second or two longer than I should. Watching her and her husband revel in their new marriage and their feelings for one another brought back so many memories of the first eighteen months of our marriage. The joy in calling each other husband and wife. The way Michael tenderly called me Mrs. Labrador. All the sweet things we liked to say to one another. I really miss that. We never really got out of that honeymoon phase. We never had the time to take one another for granted.
I have been missing him so much this week. I can't believe this is my life. I can't believe Michael got cancer and died. It just shouldn't be this way. He should be here.