Green Light

Just got off the phone with the nurse and she said that the doctor has given me the "green light" to begin IVF #2. My FSH was 6.5 and my Estradiol was 45. I'll start with the maximum dosage (450 IU) of Follistim tonight. If everything goes as planned, my egg retrieval should take place on the 24th.

I had to wait nearly an hour for my appointment today because they were short a doctor, a nurse, and an ultrasound machine. I've never waited any more than fifteen minutes there before. While I waited in the very crowded waiting room, I felt a bit envious of the women there with their husbands. Unless Michael was on the road, he always went to our RE appointments with me. He would hold my things when necessary, and he always held my hand during my ultrasounds. We said he was my "sherpa". I really miss having him with me during my appointments now.

Then today's nurse wasn't familiar with me, and as she was going over the instructions with me she got to the part where the husband is supposed to start taking antibiotics. I cut her off in a quiet voice and told her that he had passed away recently. I wish they would flag my file so that everyone knows and I don't have to keep telling the newer nurses. I think I will mention that to my favorite nurse the next time I see her.

I'm a bit nervous about doing this without Michael, because I remember how physically grueling it was the first time. But I will do it because I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering what might have happened if only I had. I hope and pray that this time will have a happy outcome.