Since getting over my hurt feelings after all the hoopla surrounding Michael's funeral mass and memorial service, I have made an effort to continue to grow my relationship with my in-laws. They are really such nice people and I adore them. Michael's mom has been incredibly supportive of my attempts to get pregnant and I really appreciate that. I know it would make her so happy to have grandchildren of Michael's, and I'd love to give her that.
One night recently, I went out to their house so that my mother-in-law could give me my progesterone injection. This was before the second BETA test, obviously. My father-in-law offered to take us out for dinner, and Michael's aunt was going to join us. I really like Michael's aunt. She's a sweetheart. But after dinner, she brought up Michael's ex-girlfriend and that she was moving into a new apartment. Yada, yada, yada. I was shocked that "she" would ever be brought up as casual conversation in front of me.
I'm sure it was just stream-of-consciousness talking. You know Michael's aunt is sitting next to me, that makes her think of Michael, and then the ex-girlfriend. But still! I seriously doubt that my name and what is going on in my life is ever mentioned to the ex-girlfriend out of consideration for her feelings, and I'd prefer that it wasn't. The ex is someone who hates me with a passion and threatened Michael that she was going to have me killed. She's nuts! I don't think they realize how hateful and mean she has been to me. She's got them snowed.
I didn't say anything this time. In fact I didn't say anything at all. I just sat there uncomfortably looking out the window. But if something like that happens again, I'm going to ask that they not mention her to me again. Ugh!
Ugh is right. I wish the snow would clear for them a bit and see who and what really matters today. You're always in my thoughts Joannah. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteYou need to. Enough is enough. She/They need to move on on her role in Michael's life. She didn't have one at the end ...or in the most important part. AND, they need to realize (finally) how hurtful their inclusion of her has been for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you 110%. It is such an uncomfortable position to be in. It is really something how they keep bringing up "her" in front of you. Wrong, wrong, wrong. UGH! I totally agree you need to say something about it to whomever mentions "her" again. You don't need to be in any additional stressful situations. You have plenty of stress to deal with already! Hugs to you, Sarah
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize there was so much more to the situation. Wow, why on earth would she feel so strongly about you?? (you don't need to answer that, there is no answer as no one should hate anyone and to say those things about you is just horrid, I am so sorry you went through that!).
ReplyDeleteI have never understood why people talk about people's lives to other people. I am slightly sensitive to it for a variety of reasons but it really bothers me, I have friends here who do it all the time, they will update people who either don't know you or people who you don't want to have info (ex's...) about your life events etc. I have had to confront one friend who said it's normal, I just don't understand that because to me it isn't normal.
I think saying something is probably a good thing to do. Sadly in my case the person certainly took some offense even though I made it clear why I didn't want to hear/know and blamed my feelings they just could not understand and said it is harmless small talk, they could not see the harm it was doing me.
I will pray over this! I think you've shown a lot of grace!