Saturday, September 11, 2010

September 11th, 2009

September 11th is infamous for the horrible national tragedy we experienced nine years ago today, but I also now remember it as the day Michael started taking Sutent. Just the day before, he had gone to see his oncologist. I chose not to go because it was just the second day of school, and I didn't think it would be anything more than a prerequisite to him starting the HDIL-2 treatment.

As it turned out, he received some devastating news that day that his cancer was too aggressive and too advanced for him to do HDIL-2. After his appointment, he called me with that news, and I was shocked. I rushed up to Santa Monica, leaving my students in the care of some other teachers, to be with him while we waited for his prescription to be approved. Our insurance company was balking at the cost - $10,000 for a month's supply.

While we waited to see if we'd be able to have the prescription filled that day, we rested on his sister's guest room bed and looked each other in the eyes. The reality of his disease was so heavy on our hearts. It was the first time that we realized that our time together might be much shorter than we'd ever considered. I just remember telling him not to leave this world without Jesus, and I'm forever grateful that he didn't.

The next day, September 11th, our insurance approved his prescription and he began taking it right away. He derived an almost immediate benefit from it, although it turned out to be a short-term solution for him. However, in the next two months, we were able to enjoy our life together and spend time with the people that mattered most.


  1. I cry as I read this Joannah!! I'm so very, very sorry. I wish I could change this...but with you, I am glad that Michael is waiting for you! I love you so much...and pray everyday for your comfort!!! You are a truly beautiful lady!!! Love you, Janine XO

  2. I wish you would have had more time with him.. but always know he is FOREVER with you in your heart and soal..and now part of him is with you as those babies grow inside you and will be sooooo a part of him also..

  3. Joannah,
    Today as I've thought of those who lost loved ones nine years ago, I've thought of you too.
    My heart aches for everyone who expected a long life together only to have that dream shattered.
    God bless you and those precious little babies!!
    You continue to be in my prayers!!

  4. I can only imagine how your world was shattered that day, that must have been the toughest news to hear. What a bitter-sweet tender moment you shared with Michael at your sister-in-laws house. There will be many memories that make you smile and others that tug at your heart strings. Keep on remembering him (how could you not, a part of him is gorwing inside you!) xoxoxoxox


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